Kip and I are sitting around getting ready to see Chicago in concert tonight (which is worth braving the bitterly cold weather to head for downtown Minneapolis). We have the news on, and it's on mute. This closed-captioning line just came up:

"We bray God's richest blessings on you this holiday season."

Isn't it nice when the donkeys offer you the greetings of the season?

Okay, I made up my own. Feel free to steal.

What was your first job?
I was a waitress in the Airport Cafe in Bismarck, ND, when I was 15, and I was the world's worst waitress. I once spilled ice water on a baby, who screamed for 45 minutes. I quit before they fired me.

What was your favorite job?
It's a tie between being an entertainment reporter for the Sioux Falls Argus Leader and an online pop-culture columnist.

Have you ever been fired?
Too many times to count.

Favorite fitness activity?
Belly dancing.

Favorite all-time TV show?
"The Mary Tyler Moore Show."

Lipstick, lip gloss or nothing?
Lip gloss, sometimes.

Do you take vitamins?
When I think of it.

Favorite fruit?
Bing cherries.

Least favorite vegetable?
Beets, the vegetable of Satan.

Ginger or Mary Ann?
Mary Ann.

Betty or Veronica?
Betty.

What do you wear to sleep in?
Nothin'.

Do you have pets?
Yes, the world's most charming dog, Otis.

Living grandparents?
Yes, my paternal grandmother turned 94 in May.

Are you named after anyone?
Both grandmothers: Bonnie Marie and Emma Elizabeth. Thus, Bonnie Elizabeth.

Did you like gym class in high school?
Sometimes. But not gymnastics or anything involving running.

Are you a registered voter?
Yes.

Do you subscribe to any magazines?
Yes, Entertainment Weekly.

Favorite cookie?
Oatmeal, hold the raisins.

Do you drink coffee black, or with cream and/or sugar?
With cream.

If you could vacation anywhere, where would you go?
England and Scotland.

Do you eat veal?
Nope.

Have you ever been hospitalized?
Yes, when I had Andrew.

What song makes you drive faster?
"Katmandu" by Bob Seger.

Do you know how to change a tire?
Theoretically, because my dad taught me how, and I probably could if I had to, but ...

Anything pierced?
Both ears, once each.

Do you have an “emergency book” in your car? What is it?
Yes, but it's been so long since I read any of it that I can't remember the title.

Is your hair the color you were born with?
Hell no.

Mayonnaise or Miracle Whip?
Mayonnaise.

Whipped cream or Cool Whip?
Whipped cream.

What word do you find amusing?
Rutabaga.

Ever visited a strip club?
Yup.

Do you play an instrument?
The piano. And I briefly played the tenor sax in grade school.

I hope everyone (domestically, anyway) had a lovely Thanksgiving holiday. I did, and I am about to bore you with details.

THANKSGIVING

Kip, Andrew and I had only my stepsons as guests, but they are 17 and 15 and consumed as much as perhaps 10 others, so it all worked out. Dinner was fabulous; Kip has brined the turkey for the last few years, and this was the best one yet. The greatest source of admiration for me was that he got everything on the table at the same time -- with one exception. It seems as though every year, we forget something (and it's not something easily overlooked, like celery or olives, or even something we forgot to buy; one year it was cranberry sauce and another year stuffing, both of which we'd bought but had totally forgotten to put on the table). This year's casualty was corn. But no matter; there was plenty of food, even for two teenage boys, and the corn was a fine addition to the leftovers.

I'm the only one left in the family who eats dark meat, so I always have more than enough. The white meat dwindled rapidly, however. We had three pies: cherry and apple from Bakers Square, and a strawberry chiffon pie which was my sole contribution to the meal (it's the easiest recipe on the planet, and I'll be happy to share with anyone who wants it).

After dinner we sat around looking blearily at each other until we recovered enough to play Scattergories. Which I won.

BLACK FRIDAY

I've got nothing against blatant consumerism, so Kip and Andrew and I headed out late Friday morning, armed with several Macy's coupons and a $25 Macy's gift card that I won at work the previous week in a United Way drawing. We ended up with a beautiful leather jacket for my 15-year-old stepson, originally $250, which we got for $44.99. He always steals his father's leather jacket when he's at our house, and this one is a dead ringer, so we were very pleased. We joined the hordes in the food court for lunch and ate enormous slices of pizza, then headed home, where Kip fell asleep on the couch. Andrew and I went out to pick up my sister Jennifer from the airport (she spent the week with my mother in Missouri), then we did some more shopping ourselves. On Friday night Kip and I watched "Love Actually" for the 97th time.

OUR SEVENTH ANNIVERSARY

It was Saturday. We were both sneaky and put gifts on the bed before we retired Friday night; Kip gave me a hot-pink iPod! It was the top thing on my Christmas list, and it's fabulous. It's not much bigger than my thumbnail and holds 260 songs. I adore it and have managed to load it up with 50 songs so far, to which I am currently listening in "shuffle" mode. At the other end of the technical spectrum, I gave Kip a portable cassette player, for which I had to make a special trip to Radio Shack, because no one sells the damn things anymore. He wanted one to listen to equally prehistoric audio books that are available only on cassettes. (On Saturday he also received a book, the new Eagles CD and a double steamer, exactly like the one we gave his stepsister when she got married in September and which he has coveted ever since.)

The next morning I woke up to the most gorgeous bouquet of flowers -- red and yellow roses, mums and birds of paradise. Kip had the florist make it up specially, and it is the prettiest arrangement I've ever seen.

Andrew hung out with his brothers on Saturday afternoon and evening (they went to the Mall of America, where Andrew got a new Lego set and they all saw "Bee Movie"), and Kip and I headed out, blissfully childless, and did some shopping. We hit World Market, Trader Joe's and Half Price Books, and on the way home we stopped at a funky bar in Edina for a drink. Afterward we crossed the street to visit a cheese shop, and on our way back to the car we went past a vintage wedding-gown shop that had a big rack of vintage leather jackets on the sidewalk in front, with a sign that said "$15 each." We were delighted to find a great bomber-style jacket in my oldest stepson's size -- Tim is the one who steals Kip's leather bomber jacket when he's at our house, so it couldn't be more perfect.

And on Saturday night Kip surprised me by taking me to dinner at Jensen's Supper Club in Eagan, one of those old-style supper clubs where the staff is attentive and the food is retro and delicious. Kip had prime rib and I had crab-stuffed ravioli with a red-pepper cream sauce.

We had intended to go out dancing afterward, but having consumed enough calories to stupefy ourselves, we tottered home and fell into bed.

MOVIES, ETC.

We took Andrew to see "Enchanted" yesterday afternoon, and we all liked it, although I thought Amy Adams was a bit much on occasion (I realize it's supposed to be over the top, in which case she was the perfect casting choice). And I've never understood the fuss over Patrick Dempsey; I always want to tell him to shave. That permanent 5 o'clock shadow of his drives me nuts. He would more appropriately be called McScruffy, in my opinion.

WHAT I'M READING

I'm trying to finish a whole bunch of stuff so I can read these: "Rhett Butler's People" by Donald McCaig (though I don't know if I'm going to be able to stomach it), "Fields of Gold" by Marie Bostwick and "Before I Die" by Jenny Downham. (This is not considering, of course, the dozens of other books that are threatening to topple my to-read bookshelf. Have I mentioned how much I hate/love GoodReads?)

WHAT I'M LISTENING TO

I have such an eclectic selection of songs on my iPod, it makes me look
schizophrenic:

"Cousin Dupree" by Steely Dan
"Mighty Clouds of Joy" by B.J. Thomas
"Cast Your Fate to the Wind" by Vince Guaraldi
"Smooth" by Santana
"Everything" by Michael Buble
"Crystal Blue Persuasion" by Tommy James and the Shondells
"Sausalito Summernight" by Diesel
"Owner of a Lonely Heart" by Yes
"You Can Make History (Young Again)" by Elton John
"Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong
"Brand New Day" by Sting
"Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" by Big & Rich
"Summer Fling" by k.d. lang
"Chelsea Morning" by Judy Collins
"I Guess the Lord Must Be in New York City" by Harry Nilsson
"Unskinny Bop" by Poison
"Katmandu" by Bob Seger
"Dialogue" by Michael Johnson
"Bang Bang" by David Sanborn
"I Love This Bar" by Toby Keith

Told you: schizophrenic. (I really need to teach myself how to make playlists on this thing.)