I spent the weekend sick. (Cue sympathetic murmuring.) I came down with a cold two weeks ago that managed to work its way into asthma, complicated by allergies, which are at their peak because of the fine ragweed crop we're apparently cultivating in Minnesota this year. I thought I was all over it, but I started feeling crummy again on Friday, with a sore throat.

I could NOT sleep for any reason Friday night -- I ended up sleeping a total of about 20 minutes. You know what that's like? The next day, you feel like if someone touched you, you'd shatter into a million pieces? I lay there for hours, staring into the middle distance, with some stupid song from the Wiggles stuck on an endless loop in my head. Bleah.

Anyway, I disdained my lack of sleep, and Kip and Andrew and Jen and I headed off Saturday morning for the Rivertown sale (I don't care if Marshall Fields has bought the company -- it'll always be Rivertown Trading Co. to me). Then we went to a couple of garage sales and then down to Apple Valley, where Eric was playing in a football game. I was feeling progressively worse. Finally I checked out and came home and collapsed in bed. I spent the rest of the day alternately dozing and trying to swallow.

I managed to sleep on Saturday night, but I was still feeling so nasty that the gang headed off to the Renaissance Festival without me. (Kip brought me a rose and said it felt awful being out there without me. Is he the best husband in the world, or what?) I slept most of the day and ate Jell-O but still wasn't feeling any better, so FINALLY (good thing I'm not stubborn) I went to urgent care last night. They swabbed my throat, and the doctor came in and said cheerfully, "You're my first confirmed strep case tonight!"

I went off to the 24-hour Walgreens clutching my Amoxicillin prescription, and that's where I had an amusing experience.

I was sitting by the pharmacy with my book, waiting for the prescription to be filled, when two young guys, probably 17 or 18, marched down the aisle toward the back of the store. They stopped in front of the condoms and did the male equivalent of giggling for a few minutes before one of them grabbed a package of Trojans and stood there looking expectantly at the other guy. Finally the second guy plucked a box off the top shelf, and they high-tailed it back to the front of the store.

A woman about my age, who was also waiting for a prescription, looked at me, and I immediately jumped up and went to see what it was they'd selected. It was this, of all things.

Here's how it's described: The Rejoyn Vacuum Therapy System is for those who cannot naturally achieve an erection or those whose who can achieve only a partial erection. The patented vacuum therapy system allows a man to create a firm, natural erection.

OK, it's been a few years since I was 17 or 18, but as I recall, THAT is not usually a problem associated with boys that age. Just the opposite, actually.

The woman and I giggled over it and speculated -- without arriving at any logical conclusions -- about why they'd be buying such a thing at Walgreens at midnight on a Sunday. Or why they'd be buying such a thing at ALL.

The pharmacist called my name, and I collected my presciption and left. But when I got to the front of the store, I went past one of the two guys, who was on his way BACK to the condom (and vacuum therapy system) shelf. The second guy was standing at the checkout, looking like he'd like nothing better than to melt into the floor, and the nice, middle-aged, female checkout clerk was holding the Rejoyn box and saying to another clerk, "This rang up at $138, and he says it's $19.99."

I laughed all the way back to Eagan. I am SO glad I'm not 18.