So we're sitting around eating dinner and watching "American Idol," and we heard one of the contestants sing "A Hero Lies in You" by Mariah Carey. My amusing sister Jennifer looked at the plate that held the gyro sandwich I'd just finished, and observed, "A gyro lies in you."

Yes, this is the same sister who last year, while we were embroiled in moving, looked at the little toy bird I'd perched on her knee for no particular reason and said, "Why do birds suddenly appear?"

I've been box-walked.

Whoever invented such a humiliating concept should be hung by a very vulnerable part of his or her body.

I was called in to a meeting with the publisher and the HR director this afternoon and told that my job was being eliminated as a cost-cutting measure.

"It's nothing you've done," the publisher hissed said. "You've done a terrific job. We're just going in a different direction with the Web site."

The HR director told me just to take my purse and coat and that they'd ship my "personal items" to me. I told her no, I'd take them with me. She said no, no, don't worry about it, they'd send them. I informed her with some emphasis that I would be taking my personal items with me.

The publisher slithered walked up the stairs behind me; I had time only to stick my head in my best pal's office and tell him my job had been eliminated. The publisher lurked outside my cube while I filled up a box. My computer had been shut down; the entire editorial staff was gone (I found out later they'd been called into a conference room and given the news while I was being axed).

The best thing: I no longer have to pretend to care about industrial fabrics. I no longer have to deal with the startlingly big assortment of clueless people who make up the staff.

The worst thing: I'll miss some of the other inmates employees.

I found this interesting list of things that have been engraved inside wedding bands, and I must say, some of them are downright tacky:

Rump shaker
You're mine sucker! (tacky even if it included the required comma)
Come on baby, knock me a kiss
The toys are LEGALLY mine
We are ... Penn State (they should have gone with "Nittany Lions")
Pookie bear & Delta gerbil
Not for pawning
Wow ... we got married, man!
Do or do not, there is no try (Yoda gets hitched)
I love you ... more than ice cream!
Save and redeem for fun prizes
Forever friends, lovers and bowling partners (I bet my mom wishes she'd thought of putting that in her wedding band)
I love you like a fat kid loves cake
I love you more than Oreos
Do I have to wear pants?
Thanks for waiting, Dork!

Some are trite:

Today I married my friend
United as one
Lets grow old together (yawn -- and where's the apostrophe?)
You fill up my senses (what is this, the 1970s?)
More today than yesterday
My heart is your heart always

However, I like one of them so much that I'd like it on my own ring. Or my tombstone -- sharing with Kip, of course:

They dance under one sky.

Andrew and I were discussing the kids in his first-grade class this morning on the way to school. He told me there are two kids from India, and another little girl from Danglabesh.

I still don't correct him. I hope that some day he doesn't embarrass himself while speaking in front of the United Nations because his mother thought his mispronunciations were too cute to correct.