Having learned that my all-time favorite teacher, Rita Kelly, who attempted to teach me journalism in high school, knows about this blog, I feel the urge to post something. (I have a sneaking suspicion that Rita would disapprove of that sentence structure, but I'm not sure how to fix it.)

This morning I was discussing an unnamed person with my amusing editor. I allowed as how this person's ego needs its own ZIP code.

"Yeah, and his talent doesn't even need a post office box," my editor (accurately) pointed out.

Snarky editors rock.

Kip and I spent the weekend in Mankato at a Maud Hart Lovelace/Betsy-Tacy convention.

Wait! Don't leave! I know it sounds geekish, but ... okay, it's kind of geekish.

We had the best time ever in the history of the world. That is all.

Andrew asked me this morning on our way to school if I liked fish sticks. I told him I did.

"I don't like them," he said. "I don't like fish sticks or anything fish-related."

He thought for a few minutes, then added:

"I do like fishing, though."

Kip's responses:

Have you:

Had a picture taken while naked?
Yes

Made money illegally?
No

Had a one night stand?
Yes

Been in a fist fight?
Yes

Slept with your best friend?
Yes

Had sex in a public place?
Yes

Ditched work to have sex?
Yes

Slept with a member of the same sex?
No

Seen someone die?
Yes

Run from the police?
Yes

Awakened somewhere and not remember how you got there?
No

Worn your partner's unmentionables?
Yes

Fallen asleep at work?
Yes

Used toys in the bedroom?
Yes

Run a red light?
Yes

Been fired?
Yes

Been in a car accident?
Yes

Pole danced or done a striptease?
No

Loved someone you shouldn't?
Yes

Sung karaoke?
Yes

Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
Yes

Laughed so hard you peed your pants?
Yes

Caught someone having sex?
Yes

Kissed a perfect stranger?
Yes

Shaved your partner?
Yes

Given your private parts a nickname?
Yes

Gone in public without underwear?
Yes

Had sex on a rooftop?
Yes

Played chicken?
Yes

Mooned/flashed someone?
Yes

Do you sleep naked?
Yes

Blacked out from drinking?
Yes

Felt like killing someone?
Yes

Had sex more than 5 times in one day?
No

Been with someone because they were in a band?
No

Taken 10 shots of liquor in a day?
Yes

Shot a gun?
Yes

Gone outside naked?
Yes

Last week, as part of his summer day-care program, Andrew went to a farm. I asked him about it on the way home that afternoon.

He asked me if I'd ever seen oxen, and told me that the farm had some, and also a large draft horse. And then he said this:

"Mommy, did you know that when the animals poop at the farm, they don't clean it up? They just leave it there, unless it's in their beds. They use the poop for sanitizer."

My new favorite Web site: Not Always Right. And my latest favorite item there:

Me: "Hi there, how are you today?"

Customer at movie theater: "A medium popcorn."

If there are one or more people on your friends list who make your world a better place just because they exist, and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the Internet, then post this same sentence in your blog.

As I just did.

Here are the rules. You can answer only "yes" or "no," unless someone asks you to elaborate.

Have you:

Had a picture taken while naked?
Yes

Made money illegally?
No

Had a one night stand?
Yes

Been in a fist fight?
No

Slept with your best friend?
Yes

Had sex in a public place?
Yes

Ditched work to have sex?
Yes

Slept with a member of the same sex?
No

Seen someone die?
Yes

Run from the police?
No

Awakened somewhere and not remember how you got there?
No

Worn your partner's unmentionables?
Yes

Fallen asleep at work?
Yes

Used toys in the bedroom?
Yes

Run a red light?
Yes

Been fired?
Yes

Been in a car accident?
Yes

Pole danced or done a striptease?
No

Loved someone you shouldn't?
Yes

Sung karaoke?
No

Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
Yes

Laughed so hard you peed your pants?
Yes

Caught someone having sex?
No

Kissed a perfect stranger?
Yes

Shaved your partner?
Yes

Given your private parts a nickname?
No

Gone in public without underwear?
Yes

Had sex on a rooftop?
No

Played chicken?
No

Mooned/flashed someone?
Yes

Do you sleep naked?
Yes

Blacked out from drinking?
No

Felt like killing someone?
Yes

Had sex more than 5 times in one day?
Yes

Been with someone because they were in a band?
No

Taken 10 shots of liquor in a day?
No

Shot a gun?
Yes

Gone outside naked?
Yes

An Andrew quote:

"Mommy, when people breathe in aluminum, it makes their voices sound funny."

He got the "-um" part right, anyway.

Today's laugh, courtesy of PunditKitchen.com: