Having spent far too much time on the random TV show generator this afternoon, I have compiled a list of the best, and in an effort to waste even MORE time, I will provide my proposed synopses of some of them:

Wait Till Your Father Gets Spoons

The King of Soap

Return of the Man from Birds

My Mother the Kotter (in which Mr. Kotter gets a sex change operation, and wacky hijinks ensue)

Married ... with Turtles

My Name is No Deal

The Joker's Home (one of those ubiquitous sitcoms in which the husband/father is a boob, and everyone makes fun of him as soon as he arrives home in the evening)

Bosom Dead or Alive

Passport to No Deal

Petticoat Son (in which Mr. Kotter's SON gets a sex change, and ...)

Small Chachi

Captain Catch (a show about a superhero who has baseball gloves instead of hands)

Father Knows Music (perhaps an adaptation of "Mr. Holland's Opus")

The Wonder Anatomy (this one likely belongs on pay-per-view)

That's So Emergency!

Hardcastle & Warrior Princess (I like the juxtaposition of "castle" and "princess" here)

Space Prairie (well, they did say, "Space: the final frontier")

Doogie Howser, Martian (no doubt a Saturday morning cartoon)

Land of the Susan (a show about a planet that is ruled by a lazy Susan)

Starsky and Betty (this is what happens after Hutch gets promoted and Starsky gets a new partner -- a woman with self-esteem issues)

Mutual of Omaha's Wild Birds

Dance Sheep (need I explain?)

Cannon Home Videos

Bionic You

Starsky and Mother

My So-Called Man

Dance Elsewhere! (about a cranky old guy who lives near the High School of Performing Arts and gets sick of those damn "Fame" kids dancing all the damn time)

Two and a Half People

Beauty and the Beaver

Designing Sheep

The Weakest Mama (arm-wrestling competitions for stay-at-home mothers)

Big Blue Doody

Dance Court (Judge John Travolta passes judgment on random folks plucked from the dance floors of nightclubs everywhere)

Deadliest Beaver (nah -- too easy)

Bosom Birds

Wanted Dead or Afire (what happens when a pyromaniac becomes a bounty hunter)

Make Room for Turtles

Gimme a Chris

Curb Your Dear

Name That Bunch (a show on the Food Network in which blindfolded participants are asked to identify fruit)

The Price is Eddie's Father (the successor to "The Sopranos")

Mad About Children (hosted by Michael Jackson)

I Married Menace (sounds like one of those overly dramatic crime shows from the 1950s)

Wanted: Beaver (WAY too easy)

Two Guys and Television (they fight over the remote a lot)

Welcome Back, Fatman

Teenage Mutant Ninja Woodpecker (I think the title says it all)

I Dream of Consequences

Candid Sheep

Mutual of Omaha's Wild UNCLE (the all-caps thing adds a lot, I think)

Dance Fatman

Howdy Daddy

My Mother the Mama

Suddenly Sea Monsters (a miniseries about kids who order sea monkeys from the back of a comic book and are unpleasantly surprised when they turn out to be much larger than expected)

King of the Pains

Married ... with Fatman

The Wind in the Raymond

The Rockford Prairie

Everybody Hates McCormick (another cooking show, sponsored by Schilling)

What I Like About Housewives

Mad About Thunder (a show about a guy who is obsessed with the weather channel)

Xena: Car

Dancing with the Kangaroo

Bionic Enthusiasm

Dance Nun

My Mother the Warrior Princess

That's My Woodpecker

Father Knows Ghost

Diagnosis Where Are You? (a group of inept physicians tries to help hapless patients)

Name That Daddy (a natural spinoff of Jerry Springer)

Wheel of Dads (see above)

Sigmund and the Sales Show (a very boring local-access show hosted by a realtor named Sigmund, explaining his sales techniques ad nauseam)

Malcolm in the Hooker (WAY too racy for network TV)

Charmed Beaver (ditto)

Bosom Science (a Discovery channel show in which plastic surgeons explain breast augmentation)

Woody Hunter (yeah, I'm not going there)

Dancing with the Chachi

Chico and the Boat (a prequel to "Chico and the Man," about how Chico came to the U.S.)

My So-Called Ties (a man with low self-esteem hates his wardrobe)

Wait Till Your Father Gets Birds

Dance Apes

Truth or Sheep

Picket Zone (a sitcom about the wacky hijinks outside an abortion clinic)

Chico and the Beast

Suddenly Guy (yet another sex-change sitcom)